Edinburgh M.E. Self help Group

Sadly, we have to report the death of edmesh member Alan Lear, who passed away at the end of 2008. A funeral service was held on Tuesday 13th January 2009 and was attended by a number of edmesh members and committee members.

Alan was a writer and regular contributor to edmesh‘s newsletter.  His humorous articles will be sorely missed. He also was a regular at edmesh social events, most recently the Christmas Party.

Here is edmesh member Carole’s tribute to Alan:

Alan Lear was one of the edmesh members who wrote for the quarterly newsletter. His funny and often poignant writing was something I looked forward to each time my newsletter popped through the letterbox. His was the first page I turned to once I opened the package and settled down with a cuppa to relax and have a good read. Alan’s true love in life was to write. He wrote short stories (particularly of the macabre) that were published in many books; he wrote screenplays, audio books and also a play which was commissioned by the BBC. He loved sci-fi too and was fortunate to have written for the Dr Who audio series with Paul McGann in the role of the Doctor.

I actually met Alan through the edmesh forum in the winter months of 2008. Back then I was desperate for someone to talk to about my ME. Even though I am happily married and my husband is very supportive, I was just crying out for someone who totally understood what I was going through. After I spotted a post by Alan, we started chatting online and very quickly became fast friends. He was so witty and funny and he brightened my days with his quirky way of ‘talking’. We met up shortly after in Edinburgh’s Museum of Scotland. We wandered the Egyptian display they had on at the time, as Alan had told me all about his travels to Egypt the previous year. We had such a wonderful day… one I will never forget.

It’s funny how two people can just click into a friendship – we always seemed to have something to talk about and there were none of those uncomfortable silences one often finds. Alan was very intelligent, so knowledgeable about literature, music, religion (even though he was agnostic) and movies, which I am crazy about too. Especially sci-fi… we had endless conversations on our favourite books, movies & actors.

Alan came down to stay with us in the summer of 2008. My husband Clive took to this charming, quiet man straight away. It was funny how someone so quiet could say such a lot once you got him started on a subject that fascinated him! He stayed with us for four days; we sat out in the garden a lot of the time, just chatting or reading and relaxing. Those are my fondest memories of him. He seemed so contented right then.

Alan had made many friends over the past two years since his Mother sadly passed away. He had lived quite a lonely life for a while, but had friendships with several people involved with edmesh and also through the Thistle Foundation’s Lifestyle Management Course. He also had many online friends from all over the world, particularly Deb from Washington State in the USA, Tag from South Africa and Mo from Derby – he did like his women! I think part of the reason for his easy manner and his comfortable relationships with us was that he had spent a large portion of his life with his mother due to his illness and then eventually hers. He knew how to talk to women and particularly how to listen! He also had friends on a forum called Chasing the Frog and would often have friendly banter with a fellow movie buff called Charlie.

Writing of Alan’s qualities leads me on to his role as Observer on his second Lifestyle Management course. Alan had benefited so much from his first course, he was determined that he would like to help others too. He had great common sense for someone so brilliantly academic, enabling him to offer advice that was well thought out. He was a very reflective person and would ponder on things for hours and often offer his support even though his own life was less than smooth. In his last few months he had regained his positive outlook on life – it was a sight to behold and so wonderful to hear him talking of all his plans for the future. Sadly these dreams and aspirations never came to fruition, although I must add that he was the happiest I had known him in those last few weeks. He had a grasp on his illness, a future that seemed bright and promising and he could not have wished for better friends surrounding him each day.

We miss you Alan… you were a true friend and always managed to stay cheery even if ME made you less than happy at times. Goodbye, my dear man.