Edinburgh M.E. Self help Group

I developed ME in 1993 after a bout of Chinese Flu - I had never had flu before nor had I ever had a problem with my health and was rarely off sick from work. This was like being hit by a truck – followed by several steam rollers – with spikes on. I was in bed for 5 days and off work for a week; in hindsight I should have taken 2 weeks off work but I had no idea what I was in for.

Although self-diagnosed with ME in 1994 after a huge amount of frustration and personal research, I was completely neglected and ignored by the NHS since my GP simply did not accept ME as a genuine illness; through sheer pride and determination I just struggled on for several years trying to hold on to my job at Standard Life where I had worked since 1990. After a promotion at work followed by a trip to New Zealand in 1997, the effects of the jet-lag just never seemed to go away and it was apparent I was starting to struggle again. I was finally diagnosed by a more sympathetic GP with “CFS” that same year, but in the absence of any real medical or practical support, I finally relapsed in 1998. After a course of CBT, I did get back to work in 1999 after 5 months on sick-leave, but I never felt right and always felt I had returned to work too early and for all the wrong reasons.
I was promoted again in 2000 and had been working as a Business Development Consultant & Project Manager for 3 years but had struggled in that time between full time and part time hours and periods of sick leave. I finally suffered a major relapse in October 2002 due to a stress breakdown and I have been unable to work since. I then lost my job with Standard Life in 2004 after 13 and half years service.

I was the most ill I had ever been and was house-bound for many, many months. After improving enough to be able to attend the Action for ME residential course in September 2004, I was subsequently invited to join the Wednesday Group at the Thistle Foundation from January 2005. The help and support I received from the Wednesday Group (most of whom are edmesh members, some even on the committee) really helped me to get out and about again and restore my confidence. I had always felt that support groups were just not my thing at all but I can honestly say that the friendships I have made and the support I have received have really helped me to move forward. Just sharing experiences and information with others in the same situation was hugely beneficial and actually made me realise how much experience I had myself that I was able to share and make a positive difference to others.

My confidence had suffered hugely and I felt very isolated and alone at times. But establishing links with edmesh members helped me to start enjoying life’s little pleasures again, without having the worry of being scrutinised or judged or feeling any pressure to put on an act; I could just be myself and felt totally accepted. I even started to have fun and to laugh again and rediscover my sense of humour and things I enjoyed.

I joined the committee as Treasurer in October 2005 as I felt I wanted to give something back to edmesh; I will always be grateful to edmesh for the support and friendships and for restoring confidence in myself and my capabilities.